“Sometimes I act out so loud, weird, and in an unpredictable way, that I really don’t know who is acting from within.” Do you also feel same, sometimes? Then, you could go on reading further. This article might help you to find reason behind all such dilemmas.
‘Know thyself’ is the philosophy that has shaken the root of all existential and cosmic science. Through deeper understanding of self, one could know the bigger secrets of cosmos. It sounds so simple that all theories and knowledge accumulation fails before this fact. So well, do we know self?
To understand ‘self’ better, it’s most important to know the cause of self. The cause of self or actual source of its appearance is based on what you feed to it. It goes same like ‘you are what you feed yourself’. A man staring at mobile screen 24/7 is most likely to forget his marriage anniversary as his most attention is taken by that mini screen. Even if he gets reminder set in his phone, then also he could not do anything about anniversary, as his attention was still rooted to screen. This is the saddest reality. We believe that things will be better for us as we desire. But our desire is ever changing. As we expect one desire to be met, hundred other desires are already queued up. So, the man may know that his anniversary is today, and then he might also know that he has to finish office task, drop an urgent mail, watch his favorite episode, win a game challenge, and so on.
In a day, we send thousands of signals to brain through the act of multiple activity in our day-to-day life. In all this, sometimes we put love, commands, respect, hate, anger, frustration, compassion, confessions, and so forth. For this reason, there are times when we don’t know how to react, and then the brain processes the latest reaction to that particular situation. And yes, in a situation when a lady doesn’t know how to react to a marriage proposal from his colleague, she may shout at it, because her day was spoilt. Or she may accept the proposal because she carries the same feelings for him.
So, feeding right food to self is very important. You feed anger and it reveals your angriness. You feed compassion and it reveals your kindness. You feed doubt and it reveals suspicious character, you feed knowledge and it reveals wisdom, and so on.
Therefore, that unpredictability is not really what you are not thinking or what you are not aware of. That unpredictability is the element you release into your inner being, sometimes knowingly and sometimes unknowingly. The unpredictability is the reaction to your unintended action. It is the outcome for which you have never purposefully written exams. It is the amalgamation of your old thoughts to put out to a new situation.
Your thought is your food. Pay attention the next time you bring some kind of thought into your mind and watch how it gets processed and emerges spontaneously in a new and unfamiliar situation. A young boy was leaving home for school when he overheard the word “characterless” from his parents’ quarrel, in which his mother was saying the same thing to his father. When he was asked to describe his father at school, he began by saying all the positive things he knew about him, such as handsome, supportive, and courageous, before finally spitting out the new word “characterless,” much to the dismay of his teachers and the amusement of his classmates.
That unpredictability within us is not coming out of nowhere, perhaps it’s our own invention or selection. So, be careful in feeding your thoughts, as it soon becomes action, and then reaction, and then humiliation, negation, tension, and suffocation.